Confidence is a choice. You must first DECIDE to have it.
After you decide, you must work consistently to cultivate and grow your confidence in yourself.
Merriam-Webster defines confidence as a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances.
If you KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt how powerful you were, you would have no doubts about yourself. Take the time to learn exactly why you are so valuable.
I know you’d like some practical things to do in order to start you on your journey, so I will share with you a few of the things that have helped me out.
- READ BOOKS
Some of the best books a woman can read are those that affirm her value and her place in the world. One that I was introduced to was When God Was a Woman. I read this book back when I took a class on the metaphysical nature of the black woman. Anything that talks about your unseen and energetic nature will uplift and empower you. Another excellent book is The Great Cosmic Mother. The most ancient religions honored the Great Mother and the Earth. Since women are created in the likeness and image of God ( the Great Mother) it makes sense that it would be beneficial for a woman to learn this information as it would strengthen her confidence. Another book for women of African descent is Afrikan Woman, the Original Guardian Angel. This is a good read to build your confidence as an Original Woman
Most modern day religions have stripped away the Original face of the Creator, leaving women to feel inadequate and subservient. Reading these books and applying their knowledge to your life will enable you to feel more confident as a woman.
2. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE
When you decide to be confident in yourself and your abilities, you will surely get some “side eyes” from those who have decided to stay on the timid path. You will be reflecting all the things they are NOT doing for themselves, usually stemming from fear, so expect some backlash. Support is important, however, so be sure to identify your supporters and cut people off if you have to.
My Facebook Group Sovereign Savage is a place for like minded black women to gather and support one another in leaving behind the ways of the mediocre and to become unapologetically free. My Sovereign Savage Facebook Page is open to all women.
Outside of Facebook, seek out friends, Meetup groups, and other women’s gatherings where women are focused on being progressive and confident.
3. SUBSCRIBE TO EMPOWERING RELATIONSHIP BLOGS AND WEBSITES
I recommend Black Girls are Easy. The author G.L. Lambert gives women tips on how to “Spartan Up” and take charge of their dating and relationship lives. The blog is packed with information, but he also has several books, one of which is Men Don’t Love Women Like You. I LOVE this book because it shows women just how desired they really are and gives practical advice on how to stand in your power.
Since the most important relationship is with yourself, learning energy cultivation techniques is of utmost importance. I love the jade egg and yoni breathing practices taught by Grace Diaz of Graceful Empowerment. Yoni breathing helps to cultivate the connection you have to your physical body.
Prior to taking my first Yoni breathing class with her, I was nonorgasmic. I made a video on my experiences here.
I have to absolutely credit energy work and yoni breathing with healing my orgasmic abilities. Being orgasmic adds to your confidence in so many ways. For me, when I was unable to orgasm, I did not feel fully like a woman, which lowered my confidence. As I learned how to heal my divine and juicy feminine expression and energy, I learned that circulating my energy also helped to stimulate my endocrine glands which secrete various hormones. Without these hormones in proper balance in our bodies, we become depressed. Some examples include testosterone, which women do need a certain level of, and low levels can cause depression symptoms. Likewise, having our estrogen and progesterone levels out of whack can also lead to depression.
Yoni breathing and working with a jade egg have proven to improve my mood and therefore my ability to be confident.
4. DEVELOP AND PRACTICE A DAILY EMPOWERING RITUAL
What you practice consistently becomes a habit, so cultivate confidence daily.
Walk daily to help clear your head of disempowering thoughts.
Use Divination to know what your current energy is and what you may need to clear before starting your day. You can use a pendulum for yes or no questions or an oracle deck so you will know what energy to focus on for the day. I personally use a clear quartz and an amethyst pendulum and the Goddess Guidance Oracle Deck by Doreen Virtue.
Burn appropriate incense to support your solar plexus ( which is the seat of your personal power) when you arise and as the sun rises. My favorite brand is Maroma Frankincense Incense.
Perform “Om” chants in the morning at least 108 times. Chanting helps to balance all the chakras, including the solar plexus and can also keep you healthy by reducing stress.
Practice power stances. In this Power Poses Ted Talk, professor Amy Cuddy teaches about “power poses” that can boost confidence and also in her book ” Presence”. You can practice these in front of your mirror ar home. Try them out and see how you feel in your body in these powerful stances. Body language is potent. It is not really believable to say ” I’m powerful” to yourself in the mirror, all while standing there slumped over like a limp noodle.
Speaking of powerful words, DO, speak life and power to yourself constantly by speaking only those things you desire to be true in your life. One of my favorite books to help reset any disempowering language is Conscious Language. Make reading this book or one like it a part of your daily habit of cultivating confidence.
That’s it for now!
I have given you some of the things I have done to increase my knowledge of myself as a woman and also to support and cultivate confidence.
I do hope you adopt some of these practices as your own and please share your thoughts and experiences with me in the comments.